Using AI to rewrite your story vs. using it to target *your* rewriting.

Why Backstory Matters

In the classic Hollywood screwball comedy remarriage story, the audience needs to know why the couple isn't together anymore.

• In The Philadelphia Story, it was Dexter's drinking.

• In His Girl Friday, Walter abandoned his honeymoon with Hildy for a scoop.

This detail is essential—it sets up the problem the couple must overcome to earn their HEA (happily ever after).

Handling the Setup in The Keystone

Keystone is a genre mashup between screwball comedy and epic space opera. That means I need to launch two sets of story tropes, including this key detail.

There are three ways to handle it:

1. Start before the divorce (like The Awful Truth).

2. Reveal the reason through dialogue (like His Girl Friday).

3. Use a flashback to show—not-tell (like The Philadelphia Story).

I chose the flashback.

When AI Flags Flashbacks

AI editors can be… overzealous. My flashback was flagged as a digression because it interrupts the story to introduce backstory—practically the definition of a flashback.

Here’s the passage that offended the AI:

Though she'd been looking down to avoid catching the eyes of the crowd, Kate still felt those eyes pressing on her. That made her feel naked, despite wearing a hundred and fifty yards of white silk taffeta, organza, and crinoline tulle. When she reached the end of the nave she risked looking up to check that Archie was waiting for her, but found herself looking straight into banks of broadcast cameras. Those hadn't been there during rehearsal...

Not my finest work, admittedly, but it gets the job done.

Here’s how the AI “fixed” it:

… just like the day she'd walked up the aisle to exchange vows with Archie. The sightless wall brought back a sharp memory of that day—the hundred yards of silk, the eyes pressing in, the unexpected banks of broadcast cameras.

Efficient? Yes. Novelistic? Definitely not. This is the kind of telescoping of detail you want when a bot summarizes a long, rambling Zoom call, but it's not immersive.

Letting the Flashback Breathe

Trimming is one solution, but often a better approach is to let the scene breathe, really rack the protagonist over the coals. Here’s my version:

The cathedral nave was vast. She’d counted the steps during rehearsal so she could mark her progress while keeping her eyes nailed to the rose-petal-strewn marble floor tiles. But she'd lost count.

Her procession was an army: the dean’s mace bearer then the dean himself in his huge golden cape, footmen assigned to manage her train, and a rear guard of flower girls. She felt naked, despite wearing a hundred and fifty yards of white silk taffeta, organza, and crinoline tulle—a dress so vast that without those footmen she'd be fouled dead in her tracks. The fabric against her skin was the richest in the galaxy, fine and confining as spider's silk.

The weight of the dress made it feel like she was pushing her way through waist-deep honey as she pressed ahead, into the gaze of thousands of eyes. She could hear the murmur of the crowd, and a little wave of exclamations and excited whispers followed her as she drew abreast of pew after pew after pew.

To distract herself, she watched the tip of one satin shoe crest the hem of her silver-brocade dress, and then the other. It made a soft swishing sound that clashed with the rhythm of the footmen’s boots clicking on the marble floor.

Frankincense and sandalwood wafted into her veil; and she felt an unexpected heat fall upon her face, although she dare not look up to identify the source.

Finally, the orientation of the marble tiles changed from along to athwart her path. That meant she'd reached the transept. Archie would be just across it, waiting for her at the base of the quire. There was a sudden chittering of camera shutters, sounding for all the world like millions of locusts.

She risked a glance up to check, and found herself staring into a battery of broadcast cameras. They weren’t there during rehearsal.

Conclusion

A rewrite shouldn't just efficiently tell the reader what happened—it should let them experience it. That’s the difference between an AI-summarized flashback and a fully novelistic one.

Now I want to hear from you: What version do you like best—the AI’s, my original, or my rewritten flashback? Which version makes the most clear and compelling case that Archie and Kate can't live together? Share your thoughts in the comments!

Why I'm Revisiting My Novel "The Keystone" After All These Years — It's AI

As I mentioned earlier, I’m dusting off my old novel The Keystone. Why now? AI.

Now, I know that might set off alarm bells. AI-generated content is slop—something that grabs your attention and then wastes your time. That’s because AI isn’t creative; it just parrots back what it’s been fed. Using it to write a story is the wrong tool for the wrong job.

But AI does excel at pattern recognition, analysis, and data processing. It can scan a 100,000-word manuscript to highlight:

• Weak modifiers

• Sloppy dialogue tags

• Cumbersome sentences

• Inconsistencies and info dumps

It can also generate useful tools like plot outlines, character profiles, and tension maps—tasks that would take hours to do manually.

The key is using AI to free humans to do what we do best. Test readers can focus on enjoying the story, while every word added or removed is still mine. The voice, the choices, the craft—still human.

Here’s my plan.

---

The Zero-Budget Launch

Goal

To prepare The Keystone for publication-quality release with a $0 budget — using AI as a diagnostic tool, not a co-author.
The goal is to create a novel that works as an act of love, refined to professional polish through disciplined, human-directed craft.

---

Phase 1: The “House Style” Pass (Defining My Voice)

Purpose:
Establish a “Voice Profile” that defines my natural rhythm, diction, tone, and humor — my gold standard for all later editing. This ensures that AI feedback doesn’t flatten or genericize the prose.

Action:
I’ll provide 1–2 chapters of my most polished writing (for instance, the Digby fragment).

Prompt:

“Analyze the authorial voice in this sample. Ignore plot. Identify key stylistic and rhetorical features (sentence rhythm, tone, vocabulary, humor, pacing, use of internal monologue, and dialogue style). Create a concise Voice Profile for The Keystone. This will serve as my ‘House Style Guide’ for all later analysis.”

Outcome:
A diagnostic summary that captures my natural cadence, not a prescriptive rulebook.
All later AI passes will use this as a reference but never override it.

---

Phase 2: The “Technical Polish” Pass (Macro-to-Micro Analysis)

Purpose:
Systematically raise the micro-level craftsmanship of the prose (pacing, rhythm, clarity, and flow) to match the macro-level story that early readers already responded to.

In this stage, AI serves purely as a diagnostic assistant — it marks possible trouble spots, but I decide what and how to fix them.

---

1. The “Pacing & Payoff” Pass (Story-Level Diagnostic)

Action:
I’ll analyze the novel in 5-chapter chunks.

Prompt:

“Analyze this section for pacing and emotional momentum. Using the ‘Voice Profile,’ identify paragraphs or scenes that slow the flow or undercut tension. Flag potential info-dumps or pacing troughs, but do not suggest rewrites.”

My job:
Decide which slow points are intentional breathing space — and which need tightening.

---

2. The “Weed-Killer” Pass (Sentence-Level Diagnostic)

Action:
I’ll feed the AI one chapter at a time.

Prompt:

“List possible ‘prose weeds’ in this chapter. Do not rewrite. Just quote the phrase and categorize each under:
• Filter Words (e.g., ‘she saw,’ ‘he felt’)
• Crutch Words (e.g., ‘just,’ ‘really,’ ‘suddenly’)
• Overused Dialogue Tags (e.g., ‘she sighed,’ ‘he chuckled’)
• Passive Constructions (‘was hit by,’ etc.)”

My job:
Review every item, deciding which “weeds” are real problems and which are part of my deliberate style.

---

3. The “Rhythm & Flow” Pass (Applying the Polish)

Action:
After my own revisions, I’ll run chapters through a rhythm-and-flow check.

Prompt:

“Review this chapter against the ‘Voice Profile.’ Highlight any sentences where rhythm, energy, or clarity deviate from the house style. Suggest minimal edits to restore natural flow — without neutralizing tone or humor.”

My job:
Manually review every suggestion, accepting only those that still sound like me.

---

4. Optional: The “Second Opinion” Cross-Model Check

Purpose:
Use a secondary AI model for a fresh diagnostic perspective, catching issues the primary one might miss.

Action:
Feed the same section to a different model (e.g., Claude, Gemini, or Perplexity) using the established Voice Profile as reference.

Goal:
Compare the diagnostic overlap.
If both models agree, that’s a clear signal for attention. If they disagree, I trust my own judgment — I’m the arbiter of truth.

---

Phase 3: The “Final Proof” Pass (Quality Control)

Purpose:
Eliminate all typos, grammatical errors, and formatting issues — the most common “credibility killers” for self-published books.

AI Proofreading:

Prompt:

“Perform a proofreading pass on this full manuscript. Find and list only typos, punctuation, spelling, and grammatical errors. Do not alter style, tone, or phrasing.”

The “Fresh Eyes” Trick:

1. Change the medium:
   I’ll load the final file on an e-reader or phone app. Seeing it in a new layout makes missed errors jump out.

2. Change the sense:
   I’ll listen to the text using “Read Aloud” or text-to-speech. If it doesn’t sound like something I’d say, I’ll fix it.

---

Phase 4: The “Packaging” Pass (Presentation & Discovery)

Purpose:
Build a professional storefront and reading experience that signals quality and sincerity — essential for organic, word-of-mouth growth.

1. “Look Inside” Sample (First 10%)

The first three chapters must be flawless.
They’re my audition for the reader’s trust.

2. Blurb (Back Cover Copy)

Workshopping this with AI — as a sparring partner, not a ghostwriter.

Prompt example:

“Help me craft a blurb for a sci-fi romantic comedy with emotional and thematic stakes like The Awful Truth meets The Expanse. Focus on clarity, tone, and reader hook.”

Then I rewrite it myself for authenticity.

3. Cover Design (Genre Signaling)

• Aspect ratio: 1.6:1 (e.g., 1600x2560 px)

• Must clearly communicate Sci-Fi Romance

• Typography clean and legible even at thumbnail size

If I use AI for the concept, it’s just that — concept art. I’ll refine it manually or with free tools until it looks professional.

4. Back Matter (The Ecosystem Engine)

Include:

• A short Author’s Note to connect personally with readers

• A polite review request (“If you enjoyed this, please leave a review — word-of-mouth is how books like this find readers.”)

• A teaser or link for my next project (Quest for Norumbega) to begin building my author ecosystem

---

Phase 5: The “Human Factor” (Reality Check)

Purpose:
Validate the manuscript with real readers, not editors.

Recruit:
Test readers who are fans of:

• Classic sci-fi

• Strong female protagonists

• Found family stories

• Screwball romantic comedy

Ask them for:

• Where they stopped reading

• Where pacing dragged

• Where something was confusing

• What they believe the book is about and how it made them feel

Then I’ll feed this data back into a final AI diagnostic:

“Using the reader feedback below, identify which sections of the manuscript may need adjustment to improve clarity, flow, or emotional pacing.”

Final revisions will be entirely by hand, guided by human reaction, not machine prescription.

---

Phase 6 (Optional): The Professional Touch

If I later hire an editor, the manuscript will already be so clean that their labor (and cost) will be minimal.
They can focus on deep insight, not surface triage.

---

Core Principles Recap

1. AI inspects; I rewrite.
   It’s a lab instrument, not a co-author.

2. Voice sovereignty.
   The “House Style” guide protects tone, humor, and humanity.

3. Iterate by insight, not obedience.
   Accept AI notes only when they serve the story’s heart.

4. Readers are my true north.
   The real test isn’t algorithmic polish — it’s emotional connection.

---

Follow Along

Over the coming months, I’ll be documenting my progress through these phases — the discoveries, the setbacks, and the strange places where machine analysis meets human intuition.

If you’ve ever wondered whether AI can help a writer be more human, not less — I’m about to find out.

Stop Using AI to Write Your Novel—Use It to Improve Your Writing 🛑

AI is a Tool, Not an Author

AI can generate a technically competent story—but it won’t make you a novelist. Writing is about self-expression. If AI writes your novel, it’s not yours.

The real power of AI? A magnifying glass for your craft. 🔎

Example: A writer noticed some chapters in his draft felt flat compared to his best passages. He used AI to compare the strong and weak chapters, asking it to highlight where imagery, pacing, or dialogue fell short.

The AI didn’t rewrite anything. It spotted patterns:

• Repetitive phrasing

• Abrupt transitions

• Underdeveloped descriptions

Armed with this feedback, the writer revised the sections himself. The story remained his—but sharper, closer to the standard he aspired to.

How to Use AI as a Tool

Do use AI to: ✅ Detect inconsistencies ✅ Analyze your style ✅ Highlight weak habits ✅ Brainstorm variations ✅ Refine narrative flow ✅ Automate drafts of useful writing aids—like plot outlines, character profiles, or scene summaries—which you can then review and correct

Don’t use AI to: ❌ Write your story for you ❌ Replace human judgment ❌ Flatten your personal voice

AI is a tool to raise your craft, not replace it.

Bonus: 4 Practical Prompts You Can Use Today

Based on the advice in this post, the most useful prompts are those that ask the AI to act as an analyst, a diagnostician, or a brainstorming partner—not as a ghostwriter.

Here are four prompts you can copy, paste, and adapt for your own work.

1. The "Strong vs. Weak" Comparative Analyzer

This prompt directly implements the "magnifying glass" example from the post. It uses your own best writing as the benchmark to measure and diagnose your weaker passages.

Prompt:

"I will provide two writing samples from my draft.

[Sample A] is a chapter I feel is strong, engaging, and captures my intended voice. [Sample B] is a chapter I feel is weak, flat, and dragging.

Please act as a developmental editor. Analyze and compare both samples. Do NOT rewrite anything. Instead, provide a bulleted list of the specific, actionable differences in craft and style between Sample A and Sample B, focusing on:

• Sentence structure variation and repetitive phrasing

• The density and effectiveness of sensory imagery

• Pacing (where does Sample A create tension that Sample B lacks?)

• Abrupt or missing transitions

• The quality of the dialogue vs. the exposition"

Why this is useful: It forces the AI into an analytical role and uses your own successful work as the "ground truth" for your style, avoiding generic advice.

2. The "Weak Habits" Detector

This prompt is designed to follow the advice to "Analyze your style" and "Highlight weak habits." It asks the AI to scan a larger piece of text for repetitive tics that the author may be blind to.

Prompt:

"I'm providing a 5,000-word excerpt from my novel. I want you to analyze my writing habits.

Please read the entire text and provide a report that identifies:

• Crutch Words: A list of words or phrases I overuse (e.g., 'just,' 'suddenly,' 'he sighed').

• Repetitive Sentence Starters: A list of patterns I rely on to begin sentences (e.g., 'He [verb]...').

• Passive Voice Hotspots: A list of 5-10 sentences written in the passive voice that weaken the prose.

• Dialogue Inconsistencies: Are there any characters whose dialogue patterns seem inconsistent?

Do not rewrite any part of the text. Simply identify and list these patterns so I can perform the revision myself."

Why this is useful: This is a pure diagnostic tool. It saves the writer hours of manual searching for ingrained habits and provides a clear, actionable checklist for revision.

3. The "Brainstorming Partner" for Narrative Flow

This prompt follows the advice to "Brainstorm variations" and "Refine narrative flow" without having the AI write the story. It asks for ideas and questions, not prose.

Prompt:

"Here is a scene from my novel where [Character A] confronts [Character B] about [the main conflict]. The goal of this scene is to create tension and reveal a new piece of information.

[Paste your scene here]

I feel the scene is falling flat and the pacing is wrong. Act as a story consultant and provide me with:

1. A list of 3-5 probing questions about the characters' motivations that I may not have considered.

2. Three bullet-point suggestions for structural changes to increase tension (e.g., 'What if the confrontation was interrupted?' or 'Consider revealing the information in the first line instead of the last?').

3. A note on where the dialogue feels 'on the nose' and could be replaced with subtext or action.

Do not rewrite the scene. Give me options and questions to consider for my own rewrite."

Why this is useful: It keeps the creative judgment firmly with the writer. The AI acts as a sounding board, spotting problems and suggesting categories of solutions, not the solutions themselves.

4. The "Show Me How You Can Help" Prompt

This is a great prompt for novice AI users. Simply ask the AI how it can help you with a sample of writing. Remember, you're in charge, so you don't need to do what it says. You'll know right away if something the AI suggests is something you want to try. The process of trying it will be quick and easy, and you can decide whether you like the advice or not. It's just like human critique; it can be useful even if you don't agree with it.

#WritingCommunity #AmWriting #AIinWriting #CreativeProcess #WritingTips

NaNoWriMo Project: The Keystone

Captain Kate Maclaine is the best spacer in the galaxy. Just don’t ask her to make small talk.

Jump engines, pirates, spatial anomalies: easy. Her charming ex-husband showing up with his beautiful, scheming fiancée: a catastrophe.

But that’s exactly what happens. Now she’s stuck in a tiny ship with a woman she’d rather feed to a black hole—because Archie needs her “impossible-mission” skills for a job that could shake the foundations of galactic power.

To succeed, Kate can’t just fly; she has to lead. Her “team” is a ragtag mob of eccentric geniuses who need inspiration, not just orders. And to guide them, she must do the one thing she’s terrible at: connect with people… starting with the man she ran from a decade ago.

The Keystone is a witty space opera for anyone who knows the only thing harder than saving the galaxy is navigating your love life

Reports of Heavy Metals in Protein Powders: What You Need to Know

  (crossposted on Facebook)

A recent Consumer Reports article raised concerns about heavy metal contamination in protein supplements. It got picked up by the New York Times, and now I’m seeing it all over the internet — a few people have even sent it to me directly.

I read the original report and wanted to share a little context that I think was missing.

1. Yes, heavy metals are in protein powders — especially plant-based ones.

Plants naturally absorb minerals from the soil — the good (like calcium), and the not-so-good (like lead or cadmium). So when you extract and concentrate protein from peas, rice, or hemp, you also concentrate those minerals.

A serving of plant-based protean powder can have up to 10x the metal concentration of the whole plant it came from. That doesn’t mean it’s unsafe, but it’s something to be aware of — especially since many people use these powders daily.

And serving size matters. The worst offenders in the report were high-calorie mass gainers — products meant for elite bodybuilders during bulking phases. One serving can pack 1,500+ calories, which means more of everything — including metals.

2. “No safe level of lead” — technically true, but not the whole story.

There’s no nutritional requirement for lead, so regulators don’t set a “safe” intake level. But that doesn’t mean any trace = dangerous. Tiny amounts are found in many healthy plant foods — even leafy greens and grains.

No one credible is saying “stop eating plants.”

That said, we should be stricter about where plants used for protein powders are grown. If you're going to concentrate a plant’s protein, you’re also concentrating its heavy metals. Standards for plant protein products should reflect that — and until they do, it might be smart to avoid them.

3. So… should you ditch protein powders?

If you can meet your protein needs through whole foods — which most people can — then yes. That’s ideal.

But there are situations where supplements can help:

• People on long-term calorie-restricted diets

• Athletes trying to cut fat without losing muscle

• Older adults who need more protein but eat less overall

In these cases, a protein supplement can be useful — if chosen carefully and used in moderation.

4. Choosing proteins to add to your diet:

High-protein, low-calorie whole foods — like non-fat cottage cheese, plain Greek yogurt, egg whites, or lean meats
Whey or casein protein powder from a reputable brand (if food alone isn’t enough)

Simple products with few additives — unflavored is ideal, but chocolate is a common compromise
Avoid mass gainers — they're extremely high in calories (often 1,000–1,500 per serving) and typically rank highest in contaminants
Avoid protein bars and fortified snacks — these are often junk food with protein powder added, and on calorie-restricted diets the last thing you need is junk food

5. Special case: dieting & older adults

If you’re losing weight, protein is even more important. Without enough, you could lose up to 30% of your weight loss as muscle — which isn’t good for strength, metabolism, or long-term health.

But with enough protein and resistance training, you can keep that number closer to 5–10%.

The problem? You’re eating fewer calories… but need more protein. That’s where a supplement — just one or two servings a day — might really help.

6. What about vegans?

Most vegans can meet their protein needs through whole foods, just like omnivores. But if you're in one of the higher-need groups above, and you're falling short, it gets trickier.

If you need a vegan protein powder, look for one with third-party testing — like NSF Certified for Sport, which screens for contaminants and banned substances.

If you can’t find one you trust, you might want to adjust your training goals or consider slowing your weight loss. A registered dietitian can help you sort that out.

7. Final Takeaways

• Most people don’t need protein supplements. Don’t take protein supplements unless you have specific reason to do so, like weight loss.

• Most people overestimate their protein needs — and underestimate their fiber needs

• If you do supplement, keep to simple non-proprietary supplements like plain whey or casein, limiting servings to 1-2/day. None of that proprietary pixie dust is proven to work anyway, and the more complicated a product is the more sources of risk.

• Avoid “mass gainers” unless you’re a competitive bodybuilder

• Be cautious with plant-based powders unless they’re well tested

• If you’re worried, contact the company and ask to see their testing data

• Inform your primary care physician of any supplements you are taking, including protein, because what is safe and effective for most people isn't necessarily right for you.

I’ve been following this story for some time now; metals in protein supplements are a real concern. But if you follow these guidelines, there is no need for alarm.